Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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