And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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