Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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