the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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