i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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