Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
