I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
