I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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