dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
