this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
