It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
