You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
