So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize