You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize