dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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