So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
