At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
