im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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