I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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