Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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