You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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