so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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