i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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