So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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