the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
