Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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