So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
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i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Pants are for mortals
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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