My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize