oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
