Cold hands, warm shart.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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