I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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