therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
