So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
