oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
