There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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