I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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