Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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