Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
