I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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