Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
