You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
