Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
