I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
