Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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