i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
