Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
