Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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