Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I think I died a long time ago.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
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