my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
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I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
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I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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