Michael Bay diarrhea
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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