8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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