I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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