I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
