"it" just moved
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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