STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
