They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
