his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
