Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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