I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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