Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
