I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
