then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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