Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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