Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think i peed on brittanys purse
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
